Wow. This is what an editor let's his assistant write into a short story that gets a green light?
This is the sort of thing that would pretty much be laughed out of the office if submitted by anyone else...and rightly so. A three-way (especially one involving a ring-generated woman) is the domain of porn-ish fanfic.
With a sudden jolt akin to seeing Citizen Kane for the first time. SCHWAPP!!!provides the reader with everything they could want in life, including oral sex and rainbows. Without SCHWAPP!!! in my life, I would feel as if the world had lost its luster and all was lost.